“Christmas is only 11 days away Mom,” my 6 year old eagerly says to me this morning. I raise my eyebrows to show interest, while swallowing hard my bubble of guilt and procrastination. Things are right on track for me this year--I am behind on practically every gift and card I have set out to either buy or make. But this year I am also feeling the weight of Santa on my shoulders. Oh Santa....
This year I am gently attempting to blow the Santa myth out of the water.
Last year I tried as well, but I was unsuccessful. About a month in advance of Christmas, I broke the news to my then 5 year old daughter that there was no Santa, only God. I explained that Jesus gave us the real gift by conquering death and giving us a free ticket to eternal bliss. But that didn’t stack up to the wonder of Santa Claus. In fact, after our “talk” she set out to prove me wrong. Upon loading my bagged groceries into my shopping cart one afternoon, the clerk asked her: “Are you all ready for Santa Claus?” My daughter exclaimed, “My Mommy says there is no Santa! But there is a Santa. I know because I saw him sitting in a chair at the fire station.” How could I argue with her? She had publically exposed my parental cruelty and I was looked upon by the clerk in utter confusion.
Later that day I asked my daughter, “Addi, do you really want there to be a Santa Claus?” Her answer was an emphatic “Yes!” “Well fine,” I said, “then there is a Santa.”
Two weeks later Santa brought her a guinea pig. And every time I tell someone her bunk beds are from Ikea, she reminds me, “No Mom, Santa brought them to me.”
Why do I want to blow the Santa myth? Well because it’s worthless, that’s why. I desire only to give my children what is real and true and everlasting. But society thinks otherwise and I find myself challenged again this year.
This year I decided not to come right out and deny Santa's existence, but to ever-so-gently point out the flaws in the Santa theory. I read her the original story of Saint Nicholas…the one about the old man from the Netherlands who dropped gold down the chimney into the poor girls’ stockings. “After he died—oh well, I’ll be, look at that he’s dead—they named him St. Nicholas” I read.
We also didn’t make it to sit on Santa’s lap, but we did visit his reindeer.
I am a harsh cruel Mommy, I know. But I love her too much to build her up on lies, and the truth is this world is a harsh place where children go cold and hungry on Christmas. And those children who are so greatly suffering under the curse of the world are the ones who just may believe that Jesus brings a greater gift than Santa Claus.
One day Addi will see it this way, I pray. But as of today, I stand upon the shaky ground of neither building up nor tearing down her dreams. We’ll see what happens come Christmas….
1 comment:
It is very hard tO know which route to take on this, huh? I guess i am pretty mainstream on the issue, letting them believe in the magic until the magic fades and the truth becomes clear. I love the magic of it all though. I love the excitement and i love that he and his elves and his home at the north pole are as real to her as our neighbor's and their house across the street. I love that something so different from her normal life can be "real". I compare it to how we imagine things in our mind when we get absorbed in a good book.
Having said that, i also understand how you feel about what is really REAL. My mom's friend's daughter was in a horrible accident this last summer. Financially, things are tough for them.... REALLY tough. She has (friend's daughter) has a 3 yr old daughter who was running low on clothes (need met) and now age appropriate toys. I've asked holly to give her some of the toys she doesn't play with much anymore. I've explained why her mommy and her mimi can't buy her new toys. Holly is a caring, thoughtful person, but she's also intensely attached to her belongings and something of a hoarder. I bring it up gently every few days, asking if she found anything to pass on, but the answer is "i dunno' yet.". Then, the other day, she excitedly told me that the little girl would get new toys because it's almost christmas. Santa will bring them!!! I want my child to be compassionate and empathetic, but i want her to have those little bits of magic in her childhood too. I don't know what to do. Maybe i can brAinstorm a way to give a gift to the little girl but incorporated into the true meaning of christmas, christ's birth, rather than santa claus.
I feel for ya'. : )
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