I am beginning to feel a curious joy within me, one that only God could create in someone such as me. I have spent so many of my days disorganized, misplacing things, and managing my time poorly. But God is beginning to align my life in ways I wouldn't have even thought were possible. I have always said, if anything ever comes of Jeremy and I... if people like us can pull it together and work towards a common goal... then surely there must be a God in heaven.
I have said many times, that Jeremy and I together are like the blind leading the blind. We both struggle with organization, motivation and procrastination. We misplace things constantly... with both of us trying our absolute best, we have the strength one semi-organzied person. No joke. Just ask my mother.
Right now, Jeremy sits in the bathroom with the door closed, playing his guitar. Our lives have taken a detour, the future is somewhat unplanned... and he and I couldn't be happier. Allow me to explain.
One month ago, Jeremy got the news that he was being laid off. My heart somewhat rejoiced over this, since I have watched my husband die a slow death and as he day in and day out worked a job he greatly disliked for a cutthroat corporation he had little to no respect for. His saving grace was always his music, whether that meant practicing on his lunch break or playing gigs on the weekends, it saw him through his misery. He even wrote a song whose message was birthed from the pains of his cubicle. (By the way, this is one of my favorite songs. It is unrecorded... anyone know which one it is??)
So the chance for a change was welcomed. Soon, a good job opportunity came along... one that would pay substantially more money and should provide Jeremy and I with more ease and security. Many times, Jeremy and I teetered back and forth between taking the job and pursuing plan B. The job offered a lot; it was like a sparkly golden carrot dangling in front of us, and time and time again we told ourselves, "We should take that carrot. The carrot is secure. The carrot can give us the things we need. The carrot is the responsible choice, the wise choice of the male provider..."
Although the carrot would have fixed many of our immediate problems--like the holes in the walls of our stair well, and the dilapidated thing in our backyard we sometimes call a garage--deep down we didn't want the carrot. We wanted plan B. Plan B was more of a pipe dream that Jeremy and I would practically joke about (or blog about). Plan B was having the freedom to travel and book shows in familiar cities, while I homeschooled the kids and continued working my Shaklee biz. This plan obviously didn't hold a candle to the opportunity that the job presented, so it wasn't largely considered.
We decided that the job was too good to refuse, and Jeremy accepted the job offer, despite his longing to pursue his music more seriously. A few different complications pushed the date of his offer back a few days, then a week. During this bonus week, we both found our minds drifting back to plan B. A few more pieces had coincidentally fallen into place. One major piece was my part-time job offer.
Now--allow me to make it well known that I wasn't out seeking a part-time job because my husband got laid off. God brought me this job. He dropped it on my lap in the middle of a whirlwind, just like he dropped four kids and their incredible Mom into our lives one weekend back in September.
The organization I have been asked to work for is Safe Families. This is the organization that allowed our family and my parents to keep the four kids for four months, (you can read about this adventure here, here and here), which bought their hard working Mom much needed time to get back on her feet. This was the greatest gift she could have been given, and knowing the difference it made in her life gives me such joy. I am so grateful for this organization... they made it possible for a loving Mom to NOT lose her kids and it's going to continue to help more people as Andria and I share our story and spread the good word about Safe Families to Madison County. So, needless to say, I'm taking this job one way or the other. But how incredibly perfect of God to present this opportunity NOW. He provided me with a part-time job before we knew Jeremy would be getting laid off.
Once we added this new part-time position to Plan B, it became all the more tantalizing. Have you ever seen the movie The Odd Life of Timothy Green? In one scene, the parents are unable to have a child, so for one night... they dream. They write down everything their child would be if they were to have him, with the intentions of burying their dreams forever in their back yard and move on with the realities of life.
Well, coincidentally, we kind of did that too. With the extra week of having Jeremy entirely off work, ... we found ourselves dreaming more and more. We soon found there were more aspects to our Plan B pipe dream than we thought, and it couldn't be contained as only pursuing music. It was a conglomerate of ideas and passions we both felt that God had placed within our souls. Plan B was soon re-named, The Johnson Family Adventure.
I spent late nights online learning how to further grow my home based business with Shaklee. I spent time thinking of ideas and ways to spread the good word about Safe Families to all of Madison County and beyond. I even thought about ways I could schedule breaks in the gymnastics program I run at the YMCA. We both spent an ample amount of time thinking of new ways Jeremy could pursue his music--ways that haven't been available to him with a full-time job. These ideas included playing weddings and in churches; maybe even weaving in some stories from the background of his music, allowing his song-writing to be an opportunity for transparency and help to others.
After that week, the job offer was still on the table. Jeremy felt that it was too late to back out now... so he agreed to meeting at 8:30 Friday morning to seal the deal and take the job. After a day of mourning the loss of our Johnson Family Adventure, I decided to back my husband 100% and encouraged him to go through with the job if he felt it was right. So I kissed him on his way out the door that morning before he left, feeling as though our fate was sealed.
How surprised I was, when he called a few hours later, to tell me he didn't take the job. There was a moment of opportunity that allowed him to clear his head and realize he couldn't rightly take a position he wasn't 100% invested in. It wouldn't have been right for the company or for himself.
So here we are, on the brink of Plan B, The Johnson Family Adventure... and though our future is undefined, our hearts are full and expectant.
No comments:
Post a Comment